Ahead. It seems to me like a hazard of being an ambitious woman is having a partner who can’t support you. Such is life on Netflix’s new show,
. Loosely based on the life of Nasty Gal founder Sophia Amoruso, Sophia on the show seemingly has it all — a great business on the verge of success, great friends, and an amazing boyfriend. Well, about that last point… It turns out that Shane and Sophia's relationship on
Show Shane as an angel of a boyfriend — he’s with Sophia, who is seen as a wanton woman of sorts, and she is so lucky to be with him because he is patient with her and her whims and her business. And he’s in a band, and they’re on tour, but he’s still so attentive to her needs! That’s why the moment that Sophia sees Shane receiving oral sex from a member of his band stings so much. Shane looks like this outwardly awesome guy — the “Nice Guy” of
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The part I hated the most about Shane’s cheating was that it throws Sophia off her game. She’s about to open up NastyGal.com to the world, and all she can think of his what she saw when she went to surprise Shane in the studio. Their eventual break up (and her live takedown of him in the studio, which I loved) was necessary because it opens Sophia up to taking care of her baby — her business — and most importantly, taking care of herself. Who needs Shane when you are about to be an e-commerce wunderkind?
This trope is so tired — the manic pixie dream girl and the straight-laced guy who takes it all in stride — because it proliferates the idea that women should be quiet and well-behaved and cool, and if they’re not, they should be grateful for the men who “put up” with them. Basically, if you don’t fit the mold of what a woman is supposed to be, you get what you get and you don’t get upset. This sort of internalized (and outward) misogyny really grinds my gears. Women should not be othered because they have aspirations or thoughts or feelings that go against the norm.
You don’t need a consolation prize of a man because you want to focus on launching a career or working toward a degree. Women’s opinions and feelings and desires are just as valid as any man’s, and if your partner can’t jive with that, get a new partner. Don’t change who you are. Sorry that Sophia was too busy working on her hot career to have sex with you, Shane, but she deserves better. All women deserve better than a “meh” partner.
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Sophia is honest about what she wants out of her life, and it’s a shame that Shane couldn’t be, too. On the plus side, ditching Shane opens Sophia’s life up to a great deal many possibilities, and it teaches her that it’s what she wants that really matters.
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From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person who’s on TikTok, even if you aren’t.' protagonist Sophia Marlowe (Britt Robertson) can barely stay in the saddle of her rapidly expanding vintage clothing business. Though Sophia had scoffed at her prior full-time jobs — one at a shoe store and the other as a security monitor — running Nasty Gal requires far more commitment than a conventional 9-to-5.
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Presents us with a montage of our exhausted heroine flopping into bed, night after night. That capitalist spirit would be fine — encouraged, even — were Sophia not getting in bed next to her boyfriend, Shane (Johnny Simmons), disgruntled from evenings spent alone. As Sophia's intense schedule wears on, their intimacy stales and their warm banter stiffens. The relationship ends after Sophia catches Shane receiving a blowjob from his bandmate.
After all, Sophia’s not the only one in the relationship to struggle with work-life balance. As a music manager, Shane’s tied to his band’s demanding schedule. At one point, he hits the road for a number of months. When Sophia visits him in L.A. after a long stint apart, Shane’s bound to the whims and whimsies of the band’s petulant frontman, much to Sophia's disappointment.
A 2015 film in which Anne Hathaway plays Jules Ostin, CEO of a successful fashion startup. While Jules struggles with the reins on her rapidly expanding fashion startup, her husband Matt raises their daughter. Jules’ long hours and hands-on approach to her career put extra pressure on their marriage. Eventually, it’s revealed that Matt is having an affair with another parent, a direct cause of Jules’ hours spent away.
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, Jules decides to to give up her position at the helm of her own business in order to work on her marriage — until the heroic Matt steps in, and says he’s willing to find a solution, even if she stays on as CEO.
Seen a career man on film or TV consider leaving his job to spend more time with his family — except, perhaps, for Randall on NBC's This Is Us. In that case, Beth, who gave up her career as a lawyer to raise the couple’s daughters, is concerned about her husband’s demanding schedule, but accepts his long hours as a fact of their relationship. When Randall eventually quits, it’s his own choice – not because Beth cheated on him as a “wake-up call.”
Refrains from contributing to the debate. Instead, Shane cheats, Sophia dumps him, and the simmering, disturbing implication that he cheated because of her ambition is left unsaid — much to the detriment of this show’s feminist message. Hopefully, being in relationships with disgruntled partners isn’t the price all #Girlbosses have to pay in order to achieve their #goals.
Digital Nomad Summit 2016 — Kat Ingalls
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