Gaslighting Girlboss

Live laugh love, gaslight girlboss gatekeep meme, girlboss, gatekeeping, tumblr memes, dank memes, offensive memes, manipulate mansplain malewife, catchphrase, parody, meme, missnumber1111, a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e, @shyfew, @oceangirl, @burntlovenotes, it

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss is a parody of the phrase Live, Laugh, Love used in a variety of shitposts, that began on Tumblr in January 2021. The phrase is used to mock the stereotypical sentiments of the typical empowered feminist, with each term holding a negative connotation in reference to female empowerment.

Gaslighting is when someone manipulates someone by psychological means into believing something false and questioning their own sanity. Gatekeeping is when you control and limit general access to something. A Girlboss is an empowered woman who takes charge of her own life, is self-made and independent.

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User missnumber1111 posted, today’s agenda: gaslight gatekeep and most importantly girlboss, garnering over 43, 500 notes in a month (shown below). On that day, Twitter

User a-m-e-t-h-y-s-t-r-o-s-e reblogged the post along with a photoshopped image of Live, Laugh, Love wall art instead reading, Gaslight every moment, Gatekeep every day, Girlboss beyond words (shown below). On January 18th, the image was reposted to Twitter

User @shyfew posted a video from television show Charmed of three women chanting the power of three will set us free over a book along with the phrase, garnering over 200 likes and 39, 000 views in a month (shown below). On January 22nd, Twitter

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User @OCEANGIRL tweeted, are u a live love laugh or a gaslight gatekeep girlboss garnering over 1, 000 likes and 140 retweets in under a month.

User @burntlovenotes made a shitpost image macro featuring the phrase over images of guitarist Frank Iero of My Chemical Romance, garnering over 300 likes in three weeks (shown below, left). On February 11th, Reddit user /u/ItsHipToTipTheScales posted a Homestuck themed Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Venn diagram to /r/homestuck,

User @pianta_ tweeted, gaslight gatekeep girlboss is the new live laugh love garnering over 1, 900 likes and 400 retweets in a week. As the trend evolved, Twitter

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User @relelvance posted, Manipulate, mansplain, malewife as a male-themed opposite to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, garnering over 27, 000 notes in four days. The post was screenshotted and reuploaded by TwitteWe use cookies and other tracking technologies to improve your browsing experience on our site, show personalized content and targeted ads, analyze site traffic, and understand where our audiences come from. To learn more or opt-out, read our Cookie Policy. Please also read our Privacy Notice and Terms of Use, which became effective December 20, 2019.

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Girlboss founder and CEO Sophia Amoruso poses in front of “The Heroine’s Journey, ” a mural commissioned by the luggage company Tumi, during the 2019 Girlboss Rally at UCLA. Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Girlboss

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Alex Abad-Santos is a senior correspondent who explains what society obsesses over, from Marvel and movies to fitness and skin care. He came to in 2014. Prior to that, he worked at the Atlantic.

The girlboss is one of the cruelest tricks capitalism ever perpetrated. Born in the mid-2010s, she was simultaneously a power fantasy and a utopian promise. As a female business leader — be she a CEO, an aspiring CEO, or an independent MLM superseller — the girlboss was going to unapologetically will empires from the rubble of rejection and underestimation she faced all her life. As companies grew in her image, so did her mythos; her legacy would be grand and fair, because equality was coming to work. Everyone was supposed to win when girlbosses won.

What set girlbosses apart from regular bosses was pinning feminism to hustle. Women like Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg and former Nasty Gal CEO Sophia Amoruso — who coined the term — were finally wrangling power away from the men who had held it for so long, which was seen as a form of justice. As the concept was codified, the idea of the girlboss became about the melding of professional self and identity, capitalist aspiration, and a specific (and arguably limited) vision of empowerment.

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“Literally every woman that I look up to is unrelatable, ” Rachel Hollis, a very wealthy self-help guru, said in a TikTok video in April, describing how she wills herself to wake up at 4 am to conquer her day. Hollis wrote in 2016 how much she hated the term, but quotes like hers crystallize the girlboss mentality.

“If my life is relatable to most people, I’m doing it wrong, ” she continued, and in the accompanying caption she compared herself to a slew of unrelatable women she looks up to, including Harriet Tubman.

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Girlboss, Gaslight, Gatekeep: How Girlboss Became A Meme

If Hollis’s fetish for relentless, unstoppable work and comparison of herself to the creator of the Underground Railroad is a prime example of a girlboss gone wild, so was the swift backlash.

Hollis’s most generous critics saw her words as a moment of unchecked privilege. Her sterner critics called her out in disgust, pointing to Hollis’s casual dehumanization of her housekeeper, whom she described as the woman who “cleans her toilets, ” and her Tubman comparison as examples of typical, wrongheaded girlboss attitudes. People who worked for Hollis corroborated her off-putting conduct. She was, in their view, just another white woman co-opting empowerment and feminism for profit, with no intention of lifting anyone else up.

Hollis is the latest in a recent spate of corporate women leaders — including Away CEO Steph Korey and certain founders of luxury spin classes — who create companies plagued with stories of bullying, cruelty, and overworked and underappreciated staff. It now seems as though toxic work environments were a feature of their design and not coincidental bugs. Perhaps working for a girlboss was just like working any other job.

Gaslighting Girlboss Baby Tee

As more and more of these stories surfaced, “girlboss” shifted culturally from a noun to a verb, one that described the sinister process of capitalist success and hollow female empowerment. On TikTok and Twitter, girlboss the verb became yoked to “gaslight” and “gatekeep” to create a kind of “live, laugh, love” of toxic, usually white feminism.

The girlboss brought to life a way to talk about real concerns and barriers in the system honestly and frankly. It also posited a solution so blazingly simple — put women in charge — that it could never work.

We wanted it to be this easy to buck the whole system. When it turned out women CEOs were just CEOs, we never let them forget it.

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Wall Tapestry By Red Apple

“In 2014, Sophia Amoruso’s memoir, called #Girlboss, comes out. This is where the word comes from, ” feminist author and poet Leigh Stein explained to me. Stein is arguably the world’s foremost authority on the girlboss movement, having studied and written an entire novel about it. “That same year, Beyoncé performed at the VMAs in front of a sign that says ‘feminist’ illuminated in bright letters. As we all know, anything Beyoncé does is a huge cultural moment.”

Stein pointed out that at the time, the idea of bringing feminism, or some kind of feminism à la carte, into the corporate world was inescapable. Beyoncé and figures like Amoruso punctuated it, but it had begun brewing a year earlier, when Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg published her lauded and controversial memoir Lean In in 2013. The book sold more than 4 million copies worldwide, and established a language to talk about women’s issues in a corporate environment. Amoruso swooped in with the shorthand soon after.

“When you look at the actual word ‘girlboss, ’ there may be some internalized sexism, ” Alexandra Solomon, a professor who specializes in gender and gender roles at Northwestern University, told me. “Research shows that as women get older, and as women become more powerful, they are perceived as less likable. So by using that term girlboss, there’s a desire to be powerful but a fear of losing likability.”

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss

In some aspects, Solomon explained, the girlboss label allowed women to assert power or lean in without threatening or alienating people around them. Calling oneself a “girl” could be seen as a compromise, but it was also a way to maneuver around traditional beliefs and systems that had historically diminished women’s voices.

Riding on feminism’s increased cultural cachet (as boosted by high-performance Beyoncé octane), Sandberg, Amoruso, and the girlbosses who came after them seemed to propose (along with the press that breathlessly profiled them) that women advocating for themselves and their worth was, intrinsically, a form of justice.

In this context, power and money became measures of equality, and rising to power in a capitalist system turned into an empowering feminist victory. It was a way of framing financial success and consumerism as goodness. The implicit promise was that if consumers made these girlbosses successful, it would mean better working conditions for women, and with that, maybe empowerment for all.

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss

“If these women could succeed while upholding feminist values and treating their employees humanely,

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